Tag: dreams

Categories
Life marriage

Don’t Wake Me: I’m Dreaming

It’s weird how a dream can have an effect on your whole day. I wake up and sometimes go back to sleep just to continue the dream, and somehow it happens. When I finally wake up for the day I can’t seem to shake the memory of what I dreamed, and often I don’t want to.

This morning I dreamed of Jimmy, my late husband, who I lost in January of 2021. I heard his voice, I saw his face, I touched his skin. It was so real. I wanted to stay in the dream. Then somehow it morphed, as dreams often do, into a trip with an older man who wanted more than a friendship with me. I turned him down quickly and he wanted nothing else to do with me. That’s another story, albeit not a real one. What remains in my mind, though, is seeing Jimmy again.

I suppose the dream came about because I have been really missing him lately. Maybe the brain conjures up an imaginary encounter to help the heart deal with its loss. I don’t know. I’m just grateful for those few minutes, and even though they weren’t real, I feel like I had a good night’s sleep and am closer to my husband. Maybe I’ll see him again tonight in my dreams.

How about you? Do you often wish you could stay in your dreams? Please share.

XOXO

One of my favorite pictures of him,
on his beloved bike.
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Categories
Memoirs

Why I’m Surprised (but Grateful)

Here I am, retired and nowhere near where I expected to be at this stage of my life. What happened to those lofty dreams of years ago when I pictured myself in a luxurious mansion sipping cocktails by a pool overlooking the Mediterranean? I guess I killed them. I didn’t choose to kill them. I killed them with my choices.

Choice #1: Going to college instead of joining the Navy. The Navy appealed to me as a high school senior because it promised world travel with a good salary and future retirement benefits. I didn’t want to leave my boyfriend, so I went to college. I also didn’t believe I could make it through basic training because I am basically a wuss when it comes to physical activities. I am not athletic in the least.

Choice #2: I followed my heart while in college. I married before I graduated, and he was young. He had to find a good job and never went to college himself. He did work hard providing for me and our eventual kids, though. He said he wouldn’t change a thing, but sometimes I think he would have been better off waiting. I would have been, too.

Choice #3: Not finishing my pre-med program. I didn’t take Chemistry or Physics in high school because I was afraid of failure, and my first Chemistry class was a disaster. I learned nothing because the teacher wasn’t a good one. I barely passed the second semester under the other teacher, so I decided I would never be able to pass Organic chemistry. I also have a phobia of needles, which people say you get over, but I hate fainting in class (which I did three times).

Choice #4: Not taking Chemistry and Physics in high school. I was scared of the teachers and failure.

Choice #5: Letting fear control my decisions.

I did make other choices affecting my life’s journey, and I’m not saying I regret making easier choices, but I am in a different place than I expected to be. But isn’t that what God is all about? Taking us on new and unexpected journeys? He has blessed me with a loving husband, two beautiful children and their spouses, and three wonderful grandchildren.

My cup is full, although my mansion is a 1961 wood frame three-bedroom home and I might sip coffee or wine on my deck or front porch. Who needs a mansion on the Mediterranean anyway? I have one “just over the hilltop in that bright land where we’ll never grow old” (old church hymn) anyway!

What about you? Have you landed where you least expected? I’d love to hear from you!

XOXO

Categories
Uncategorized

Wedded Life Wednesday: BFF!

I have a pretty great best friend.  He allows me to stay home even though the budget is a little tight since I retired from teaching (thank goodness for the pension, although it’s only a little more than half what I used to make).  He encourages me to pursue my dreams even though some were quite costly–namely getting my master’s degree, remodeling and adding onto our home, buying copies of my books, setting up vendor spaces at the flea market, book festival, and antique mall.  The most costly dream of all was his, too–having children!  That was worth it, though.

Back in the day. . .1979!
  

I encourage him to pursue his dreams as well.  For example, he bought his first dirt bike right after we got married, which almost caused his mother to disown him!  He has been into motorcycles, vintage cars, horses, mules, dog breeding, and guns, all of which were costly.  One of his favorite dreams fulfilled was to ride a loop around the state of Colorado, which we did a few years ago.  I still can’t believe I was able to ride behind him on his Honda Valkyrie for four solid days for 700 miles through sunshine, thunderstorms, and sleet.  What an adventure that was!

One of Colorado’s tall passes in June of 2008!


  The give and take of dreaming and let dream has been one of the cornerstones of our marriage–that and faith in Jesus Christ our Lord.  I’d have to say that we are pretty good friends, and that is pretty important to a successful marriage.

Time to close this post now.  Gotta get those work clothes clean for my BFF (that’s Best Friend Forever for the tech-challenged out there). . .

That’s me and my bestie. . .
XOXO